11 ways you know you’ve entered ‘Mommyland’.

1. You’ve used the bathroom with a kid sitting in your lap.

2. You realize the song you just can’t get out of your head is from your baby’s musical dog toy.

3. You can now cook, do laundry, and get dressed one-handed.

4. You consider it a win if you make it through the day without a poop explosion.

5. At least half your meals this week consisted of your toddler’s leftovers. And the half-chewed food you were offered and didn’t have the heart to refuse (you’re trying to teach them that sharing is a good thing, right?).

6. You know ‘The Hot Dog Song’. And you sing and dance along hysterically when it’s on because it makes your kid laugh.

7. You can make it to your front door from anywhere in your house in 10 seconds flat. Cause if the UPS guy rings the doorbell and wakes up your sleeping child, there will be hell to pay.

8. On a similar note, your ability to tip-toe around the house has reached ninja levels.

9. You’re psyched your kid loves books. Until you’ve had to read her favorite one a 100 times in the past hour to prevent a meltdown. And said book is now hidden in the couch cushions.

10. You’ve sat in your parked car for over an hour because your kid fell asleep in the carseat. You’d rather let your bladder burst than wake the beast.

11. In the past week you’ve almost burned dinner left too long in oven, been annoyed because you went to the store for something and forgot to put it in the cart (again), and/or mistaken the day of the week at least twice. You’re actually really starting to question your mental health.

And lastly, of course, but I can’t take credit for this one:



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