Sometimes I get caught up in the minutiae and frustrations of everyday life, a dangerous road to tred because it won’t lead to anywhere good. Last Monday, I sat stewing over the fact that M was late coming home from work again, when he said he was likely coming home early. I was exhausted by the ‘mom grind’ that day and when M comes home I can just breathe a little easier. We’ve been together for almost 8 years, and 5 of those he’s had the same work schedule of long, unpredictable hours. I remember for the first three months, he’d come home to me, a less than happy camper, because he was pretty much always late (back then was probably the worst of it). After those early months I realized, this is not something you can change. Stop wasting energy on it. But, I still slip here and there. When Ava was at the height of her ‘high needs’ personality, I would wonder why. She would cry and cry for reasons unknown at the time, and I thought something I’d done while pregnant caused it. I would dwell on it and it would eat me alive. I just wanted to ‘fix’ it. Until I came to realize, Ava is who she is-loud and passionate; she knows what she wants (and what she doesn’t want). It’s so easy to focus on the negative and I always try to remind myself to ‘count my blessings, not my problems’.
It really is so important to always remind myself of all the positives, I can honestly say it has made a huge difference in my outlook on life and my general well-being. I wasn’t always the happiest when I was younger, I was never really satisfied with all the aspects of my life. I could always find fault in myself, instead of being happy about all the good things I had. Now, I tell myself every day how blessed we are are as a family. We have our health and we have each other. I wanted to share some of the highlights from this week, the little things that really brought me joy. I’ll probably do this every once in a while as something nice to look back on in the future, especially if I’m having a ‘down’ day.
1. I took Ava to story time at our local bookstore. She loves to books. I do too, it feels like the little piece of me that is now part of her. At the end, they put out crayons and coloring sheets, I laughed while watching her run around and try to color all the sheets that were spread on the ground!
2. We brought Ava to brunch at a new restaurant, M and I love discovering new breakfast places. I got so excited to see red velvet pancakes on the menu and, of course, we got them on the side. It was amazing until three bites in, I realized I’d given up chocolate for Lent (doh!). I love when we all get to sit together for a meal, it’s a tradition I didn’t have growing up because of my dad’s hours, but I hope we can do it as much as possible in our own little family.
3. M had a business dinner on Friday night and I got some rare moments to myself, other than Ava’s naptime. I put on Bravo and had the place all to myself. The introvert in me was feeling pretty good.
4. Date night! It had been more than a month since the last one and it was the best time. Yes, we talked about Ava a lot, but we also talked about other things going in life and it was nice to have a few hours just to ourselves. It wasn’t rushed and my mind wasn’t in a million places, it felt like ‘old times’.
5. Ava fell asleep in the car seat on the way home and for once, she didn’t wake up when I pulled her out of it! Instead of worrying about her nap schedule and her sleeping in the crib, I sat on the couch and let her sleep on me for an hour. I haven’t held Ava while she sleeps since she was around 5 months old and I forgot how good it felt. It was the nice, long cuddle I can’t get when she’s awake and too ‘busy’ for mommy.
What moments brought you joy this week?